What New Yorkers say when you first move- my stereotype of the bastards

So New York is definitely its own cup of tea. People here are much more abrasive than the West in this fast paced city. They also oh-not-so-casually let people know what they think of the greenies here, provided with my translation. It’s not that people are out-right assholes, they just think that if you can’t get with it quick, then you better leave their precious city.

You know you are not a New Yorker when a New Yorker tells you… My insights on the nice pleasantries of NY

… The numbers represent the NY, the letter- me, and the ( ) the REAL conversation of these oh so fun conversations. Basically, local New Yorkers feel *Special*

1.       Did you know that to get into the museums aka the MET, you pay what you want? (AKA- you are still a dumb tourist in my mind -DUH)

a.       I didn’t know that about tourist X location… (though I already know that about several tourist things- thanks for the contempt in your voice)

2.       It takes a year to like living here (translation- I am assuming you hate it and will leave)

a.       It is a transition isn’t it? But NY is so wonderful (you want me to kiss your ass for making it in NY longer than a year….you are *special* sigh)

3.       People here are very driven, it takes time getting used to it (aka Most people here are social climbers and are more interested in your career connections and who has the best party than genuine friendships)

a.       Oh, but people here seem nice. They know what they want (you are so *special* people outside of NY are not driven, are talentless, and absolutely stupid for not kissing the ground you walk on and I will pretend that you aren’t a social climber)

4.       You’re from the West Coast? It must be so different…. ( You west coasters do not have the grace or the intellect of us well-seasoned New Yorkers, you are all a bunch of backward cowboys- this applies to lifers not the people who move too)

a. Oh, it is a change not having a car… (I will ignore that you just insulted me… and pretend that your comment was really about geography)

5.       You want a dishwasher AND a one bedroom for that price? (You are a moron- only expensive

buildings and high rises- that people BUY- have dishwashers. You have obviously never rented)

a.       Well, that is pretty standard in Seattle (I wasn’t born yesterday, it is fair to ask what comes with the apartment, and I do know fair market value- you are just trying to con me into this dump)

6.       You say please and thank you? Someone is going to take advantage of you… (You are too polite to get what you want… people are going to use you as doormat- like I would EVER let someone walk all over me)

a.       It is a transition isn’t it? But NY is so wonderful (you want me to kiss your ass for making it in NY longer than a year….you are *special* sigh. I, however, believe in being nice to everyone)

Obviously this is somewhat pigeonholing. Not everyone is this rude, but I have never met so many fake people in a day…

Job Hunting & Wierdos

So- I have been looking for a job, and this is the email I got today. I am pretty sure, if you keep reading below, that this job is for a drug mule or some other illegal activity. Needless to say, I will not be responding and am wondering if I should forward it to the cops. It is definately a "too good to be true" and wierd ad- kinda like the prince from Africa who needs my bank account # so that they can hide their $$$ in my account and will pay me interest if I will just send $5,000 back...

Welcome to New York- where drug mule jobs are adverised as personal assistants.

"Dear applicant,

This is to keep you inform that I received your email in regards to the posting for Personal Assistant needed.  I am looking for someone who can act as my PA and Errand personal assistant and messenger, someone who can handle my personal and business errands at his/her spare time in my absence.This duties and your personal assistance will be needed basically during the weekends and sometimes weekdays as well and this will give you free time to go on with your regular job .

Below are the details and highlights of your responsibilities for this job position.

Duties and responsibilities required from you include the following services:

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MAIL SERVICES: Receiving of all my letters, mails and dropping them off at FedEx. Shopping for Gift items, Bill payments ( pay my bills on my behalf), Sit for delivery( at your home) or pick items on my behalf at nearby post office at your conveniences.

LOCATION: Where are you located?

I would love to meet you in order to talk and discuss more about this job. Although, currently i am away on vacation trip with my little daughter to London and will not be back until next couple of weeks. And starting from two weeks again i.e. i would be leaving London to Germany for another 40 working days for business summit/trip .

MORE DETAILS :

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FYI: I recently established and set up a new art gallery in Australia which just started operations and sales. And right now, i am sourcing to buy more art works from professional painters and artist within USA and this is where you come in. Now as it is, I am willing to pay you in advance to do my artworks, paintings and shopping's for me, and you will also be making payments for these services and have them delivered to you. I will also have my mails and packages forwarded to your address for this purpose.

However, If you will be unable to stay at your house to get my mails, I can definitely have it shipped to a post office near you and then you can pick it up at your convenience. When you get my mails/packages; you will be required to mail them to designated locations and places per my consent. You won't have to use money out of your pocket, all you have to do is have the packages shipped to your house and do my shopping.. You are allowed to open the packages to reveal its content.  The content of the packages are art works,paintings,computer and electronics, clothing's business and personal letters.  All expenses and taxes will be covered by me. You will work only on Saturdays,Wednesdays and Friday except on emergency you work on the other days as well. And regarding your weekly wages and allowance, I am willing to pay $400.00 and this weekly wages and allowance sounds very attractive considering the fact that this appointment is only on weekends and some other few days.

Importantly, your service is needed instantly because i am presently out of town and would constantly be on business trip for my other businesses but hopefully I should be back in the State in the next couple of months. Thus your appointment will be on till i come back, however, when I return, I would like us to meet face to face to discuss further on a possible long term relationship although i will still endeavor to get in touch with you via phone once we have been able to reach an agreement for your appointment.

Now as it is, kindly advise and let me know if you will be able to handle the position so that I can email you the list and pictures of the shopping lists. No heavy packages is involved! You can do the shopping at any nearest  stores. You will be shopping for this festive season for some gifts,Electronics and clothing's. 

I will provide you with my personal FedEx account number for easier Shipping through FedEx. All you have to do is provide give my account number to FedEx so that all shipping charges can be billed to my Account. 

For further clarification, I will give you further instructions for each of these tasks and the needed funding amount to cover for them. And in this regards, I will send out the needed money for this services either via cashiers check or money orders for the all my shopping, i will also send you an upfront payment for your allowance and wages for this service, therefore, kindly advise where you want the money mailed out to i.e.. How should your name appear on the money?

Provide me with the following details below :-

 Full Name:

 Full Address: (NO P.O.BOX)

 City,State and Zip Code

 Phone Number:

 Age:

 Email:

I will be expecting your response towards my request. Hope to read from you as soon as possible.

Thanks for your co-operation and understanding.

Best Regards,"

Our Super Fun Trip to Sweden 2010

So I am in love with Sweden and dream of getting Swedish citizenship and having Micke teach me more than "hej" so that Sigge, our cute nephew, quits looking at me like I am an idiot when I try to talk to him. He is a very smart little guy and we have tons of fun playing with him. Right now he definately favors his uncles, but I am waiting until he turns 18 and then I will be the cool one and he can come to the states.

Until then, we have lots of fun visiting family and friends. On this trip my parents & grandparents (both sides) came with us for the fun. I will say that I am very impressed with everyone making the trip due to all the stress of Micke and I moving last minute to NY, my mom going all over the country to help us move and get Matt & Roo to college and then Micke's parents remodeling their kitchen and deck AND planning everything.

Everyone @ the party for the weddings

We went to the high coast ( a cultural site protected by the EU)

We also went to a Thai Temple

...and my cool Grandma posed on the elephant

We also went to a museum:

and Sigge found a tractor (his favorite)

and then we went sight seeing around the town

It was a very fun trip and we are sooo excited to visit again :)

We got a blog...

OK, after a few requests from an aunt and friends I have caved in. We now have a blog. Our move from Seattle to NY was a little stressful. I am more flexible than I thought... given that 2 weeks isn't a lot of time to move, but given that KPMG is a great oppertunity for Micke away we went. Here are our observations about New York:

1. If you go to the Upper East Side you will notice lots of twins. Our theory is that they are the invitro babies of the trophy wives who let their biological clocks go longer than they should

2. New Yorkers think having more than 2 kids is a lot due to the expensive housing.. finding a 3 bedroom is nearly impossible let alone a 4 bedroom (people are shocked to learn I am one of 4 and Micke is one of 3... go figure)

3. All those New York Housing jokes on tv (Sienfield, Sex in the City, Friends) are completely true- it is competitive and people will do a lot for a good location

4. Organic milk is $8/ gallon. This is the cost of eating out. No wonder nobody cooks

5. Dishwashers are scare, hence reference in comment #4. I now dream of dishwashers, closets and 1 bedrooms

6. Manhattinites are skinny- they walk everywhere

7. You can tell New York Children apart from the tourist children. New York children ride the subway, alone, to school, hail taxi cabs and know how to give directions in terms of coordinates

Well, we are missing all of you like crazy! next post will be on Sweden and our big family vacation